Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize