woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
