also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just cropdusted the office
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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