Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
