Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
