Nicole vs. Life
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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