doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
