I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
