Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
no you cant smoke seaweed
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
