I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm really busy with my period
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