I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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