ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
