Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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