Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
