Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
