see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
