I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
