i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
