you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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