this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
