I wish I could punch you in the face.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
