Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
