At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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