i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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