I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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