Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
