Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Randomize
