We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The air was thick with penises
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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