My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
