Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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