Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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