You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
