u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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