i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
