I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize