porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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