It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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