OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
