im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
