It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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