i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
