a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
