I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
