sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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