So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
