I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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