you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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