She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
