I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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