Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
