Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
