Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
