'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
