You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
