Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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