i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
