just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
