Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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