Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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