someone owes me an orgasm
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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