I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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