I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
