the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
