I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
