He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
