Christians are straight up FREAKS
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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