just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize