is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
